10 Things I "Hate" About Boulder CO

Posted by Gabrielle Fuqua on Monday, August 1st, 2016 at 1:08pm.

As you know, Boulder, Denver’s groovy cousin, is often the butt of jokes due to its liberal, crunchy and affluent population. These are just a few low-lights you'll find in Boulder neighborhoods. The list could go on and on.

1. Living In The Shadow Of The Flatirons

Living with a breathtaking view of the Flatirons every.single.day. is so, ugh. Imagine you’re on vacation and you’re comparing views and you’re thinking “Meh, I’ve seen better.” That’s no way to live! If you hate living in a postcard, you’ll hate Boulder, CO.

2. Bicycles Everywhere

If you’ve ever driven around Boulder you know what I mean. Cyclists rule the road. They are everywhere: kids, men in suits, athletes, and cruiser riders in costumes. There are mountain bikes, road bikes, recumbent bikes, elliptical bikes, tandem bikes, and bikes you never even knew existed. If you think anyone over the age of 12 on a bike is ridiculous, you’ll hate Boulder, CO.

3. Gone To The Dogs

Boulder loves dogs. LOVES them. Boulder puts major resources toward humane societies, dog rescues, dog parks and many local stores welcome dog “guardians” (that’s people in case you’re not in the know) to shop with their furry friends…not just the service kind either. If you hate dogs, you’ll hate Boulder, CO.

4. Lack Of Chain Restaurants

Boulder does have a newly remodeled McDonalds, but Olive Garden couldn’t make it work and neither could Applebee’s. Boulder is chocked full of family owned and operated cafes and restaurants who source fresh food locally. If you hate mom and pop restaurants with unique menus and great ingredients, you’ll hate Boulder, CO.

5. Education To The Nth Degree

Boulder was recently ranked the #1 Most Educated Town by the editors of 24/7 Wall St. citing 58.6% of its population holding a Bachelor’s degree or higher. How pompous. To top that off, the average family income for 2013 was $71,604. If you think higher education is a waste of time, you’ll hate Boulder, CO.

6. Happiness Is Overrated

By far Boulder’s most annoying quality is the happiness of its residents. Facing a disappointment you’ll hear “It’s all good.” Taking on a new challenge, “YOLO!” If you are so over the “Let It Go” and “Shake It Off” attitudes, you’ll hate Boulder, CO.

7. Hippies, Activists And Naturalists

Boulder has more than its fair share of hippies, young and old. It’s full of political activists, idealists, naturalists, environmentalist…all kinds of “ists.” Trying to improve the world we live in, that’s so 1960. If you think the world is prefect just as it is, you’ll hate Boulder, CO.

8. Work Is For Losers

Do you love being unemployed or underpaid? Then Boulder’s 3% unemployment rate will have your skin crawling. Now there is news that Colorado’s job growth may even be causing upward wage pressure. As if. If you hate high wages and career opportunity, you’ll hate Boulder, CO.

9.  Sunshine Is Dangerous

Skin cancer, dry skin, suntan lotion, skier’s tan, bleh! With an average 300 sunny days a year there is no escaping the big blue sky or warm sunny days, yes, even in winter. If you hate wearing sunglasses year round, you’ll hate Boulder, CO.

10. Loving Where You Live Leads To Bad Character

You know suffering makes character. You know reasons 1-9 could never make you the jaded, hardcore, quick witted, comeback guru you are today. Surly attitudes are hard to come by here. If you think loving where you live makes you soft, you’ll hate Boulder, CO.

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13 Responses to "10 Things I "Hate" About Boulder CO"

Jess wrote: In your lovely paragraph about higher education, you referred to "eduction." I don't know how valid this article is... Hahahah
Editor: HAHA! Totally not legit. Good catch! It's fixed.

Posted on Tuesday, December 23rd, 2014 at 10:22pm.

Allison Lansberry wrote: But there really are things to hate about Boulder. Too extreme weather. No real seasons. Not the greatest education for children. Way overpriced.(I got a 3, 000 sq ft house with 2/3 acre & two car garage for what I profitted ($120, 000) when I sold My house in Boulder & moved to Baltimore County in 99). Low solve rates on crime (especially murder). A lot of stuckup, unfriendly people. Being as so many people are highly educated competition for non advanced degree jobs is intense. Not much culture & free entertainment. Signed, much happier in Baltimore.

Editor: True, Boulder isn't cheap. It's a great place to establish yourself, so you can move almost anywhere with a lower cost of living later.

Posted on Tuesday, December 23rd, 2014 at 10:27pm.

Caryn Sanders wrote: don't get me wrong, I was born and raised in Boulder. Born in the mid sixties, everyone said hello to each other, there were a lot more unique things about boulder then there is now. Boulder had Rutgers fest, the kinetics, the red zinger bicycle race etc. ..locally owned shops like the Boulder army store Freds restaurant, Maries cafe, Tom's tavern juanitas. and so on. All have been pushed out of Boulder because of people who want more upscale shops and restaurants. Businesses that were owned by actual locals. The people that have moved into Boulder, do not say hi to you when you walk down the street. the kinetics got too rowdy, Rutgers fest all the sudden was discontinued. the guy with the parrot on his shoulder that would perform on Pearl Street was banned because he had a parrot on the shoulder and there were no animals allowed on Pearl Street. I can go on and on and on. When I was a kid, they would close down 9th Street when it snowed so the kids could sled down the hill towards North Boulder Park. It was fun to grow up in Boulder, I loved it. when you got a bike, you had to take it to the fire station and do a test just like you would when you get your driver's license, and they would issue you a license plate for your bike. Bicyclist had to obey the traffic laws, the hand signals. now, bicyclist think they have more of the right away then a car would. They cut you off they yell at you, they create acsense of There is no sense of respect. I'm proud of being a native of Boulder, what I don't like is the people that move in there and try and turn it into another Aspen etc... I miss the old Boulder. I miss the live music scene, open mic nights, the Blue Note. folder does have music, but it's not the same. we used to have a variety. From famous bands, two local bands, and for people who just wanted to play and would be welcomed up on the stage by whoever was playing. There were no getting tickets in advance, you just walked in and enjoyed yourself.

Editor: It's great to hear about the old days. Thanks for your comments.

Posted on Wednesday, December 24th, 2014 at 4:22am.

Dale Pierce wrote: I too miss the small college town I grew in but I guess that's time marching on. I do enjoy coming back for the Flatirons beauty and the campus of my alma mater, CU. I guess if you like California, you can feel very comfortable with what Boulder has become since the 70's.

Posted on Wednesday, December 24th, 2014 at 3:09pm.

Dan wrote: Mork doesn't live there any more, but it WAS his first choice...

Posted on Thursday, December 25th, 2014 at 7:47am.

John Doe wrote: Allison Lansberry, "no real seasons" and "not the greatest education for children", you obviously have no idea what you are talking about.
Signed, stay in Baltimore we don't want you

Posted on Thursday, December 25th, 2014 at 10:12pm.

Liza wrote: Boulder is a beautiful place, but honestly, I've never met such self-righteous and sanctimonious people anywhere. Too many people in Boulder believe that they and only they know how life should be lived, and they are very quick to tell you when you aren't being crunchy and/or lefty enough for their taste. It's a very prevalent and annoying feature of life in Boulder. Complete strangers tell you what to eat and not to eat, how to raise your children and how to interact with your dog. That gets old fast.

Posted on Friday, December 26th, 2014 at 1:30am.

E Roach wrote: My last visit to Boulder made me realize you can't go home. While a few valid points are made in the article, Cary S. hit the nail on the head. Boulder is ugh, personality and people wise. Weather-wise, great, but money and attitudes transformed Boulder from a cool hip town in the seventies/eighties to a microcosm of the mag mile of Chicago and Beverly Hills. No thanks.

Posted on Saturday, December 27th, 2014 at 10:00am.

Stretch wrote: Last time I went to Boulder I went to the State employment office looking for work and was told I couldn't even put in an application because I didn't have a local address!!!

Posted on Sunday, December 28th, 2014 at 7:37pm.

amy weinman wrote: Boulder is unique. Yes it's changed. But it as close to heaven than most places. If one feels compelled to criticize it, then all there will be happier for it if one allows it to be. A gem in our country.

Posted on Friday, February 6th, 2015 at 10:02am.

Don wrote: Yep, I lived in Boulder for 30 years and I have to agree wholeheartedly with Allison, Caryn, Liza and E Roach. Same transition happened to San Francisco. The "Tech Bros" from Silicon Valley moved to San Francisco for the culture and ruined it.

Posted on Monday, October 26th, 2015 at 6:29am.

Sean wrote: Yes John Doe- Baltimore is correct when he states "not the greatest education for children". Boulders public schools are above average but not the best in Colorado by any means. Colorado already ranks very low in education as is. The private schools here are a joke (2 days a week, homework optional) Boulder would not be my first choice for raising children- at least normal, socially acclimated ones.

I loved living here because I'm independently wealthy and also have a penchant for cannabis. The weather was agreeable, but California was better. Eventually I couldn't justify the cost of living in Boulder so I moved to the beach in LA to save money- this is a true story.

Posted on Saturday, June 11th, 2016 at 6:52pm.

Zoe wrote: I agree with Sean. After living in Boulder for 16 years I was so relieved when we moved to SoCal. Boulder is SO over-rated, and it is actually pretty conservative. The weather is harsh and dramatic, difficult to garden in, and the wind sucks.
I missed diversity and I was starved for culture all those years, and I wish we had left earlier with our kids. When we came to L.A. I felt free to be myself, and I believe it is a better place to raise a family. In my experience Angelenos (despite the bad reputation) are more real and down to earth than Boulderites.

Thanks for reading our blog, Zoe!

Posted on Tuesday, December 13th, 2016 at 1:55am.

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